Author: system

Categories
School Articles

Obsession: Separation Anxiety

Obsession: Separation Anxiety




Written by: Hong Kong Registered Psychologist, Ching Wai Keung


Around nine months of age, babies become unusually clingy. Even if the mother goes to the bathroom, the baby may appear extremely anxious, clinging tightly to the mother and even crying loudly.


Separation anxiety can lead to two different types of reactions. In some cases, when separated from the caregiver, the baby will exhibit attachment-seeking behaviors, such as clinging to the mother, trying every possible way to find the mother, or crawling wherever the mother goes (Ainsworth, Bell, & Stayton, 1971). Separation can also result in behaviors such as despair, resistance, and detachment, depending on the duration of the separation (Bowlby, 1960; Robertson & Robertson, 1989).


A child's reaction to separation can also change depending on the environment. For example, in a familiar home environment, the child will exhibit less anxiety compared to being in an unfamiliar environment (Ross, Kagan, Zelazo, & Kotelchuck, 1975).



Around seven months of age, the concept of object permanence begins to emerge in children. They understand that even if they cannot see someone or something, it does not mean that the person or object has disappeared. When children are able to establish this concept, their separation anxiety will relatively decrease. If the mother can frequently communicate with the child, express positive emotions and feelings towards the infant, and provide appropriate stimulation and assistance, the child will more easily grasp and apply the concept of object permanence to both objects and people (Chazan, 1981).


Helping children cope with separation anxiety requires a certain amount of time, allowing the child and caregiver to develop a close, attached emotional relationship (Attachment), and waiting for the child's own development to mature before it can be effective. For a two-year-old child, they can use photographs to alleviate their feelings of sorrow when separated from their caregiver (Passman & Longeway, 1982); a three-year-old child can even stay overnight at their grandparents' house without their parents being present.


Whether a child can develop this kind of "resilience" depends on whether the caregiver and the child can establish a close emotional relationship. Once the mutual relationship is established, the child can soothe their anxiety caused by separation by imagining the image of their parents and recalling their parents' love (Development Through Life, Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. Newman, Wadsworth, 2003).
Categories
School Articles

We should be grateful to others for being willing to ‘offer help’

We should be grateful to others for being willing to 'offer help'




Written by: Dr. Cheung Kit


In this era, parents' protection of their children surpasses that of any previous generation. This may be due to the decrease in the number of children and the improvement in living standards, leading to parents spending more time and providing more comprehensive care for their children. Under such (possibly excessive) protection, children often become very self-centered and disregard the importance of others. From the parents' perspective, they are inevitably biased and more tolerant of their own children. When faced with their children's inappropriate behavior, parents tend to make excuses for them. This common human behavior, however, may lead to children becoming unruly. Therefore, in the difficult situation of balancing right and wrong, if someone is willing to "offer help and guidance," parents should be grateful. The following are "important figures."


  1. Teachers

Teachers are among the people who spend the most time with children. We would prefer teachers to directly point out the rights and wrongs to children during their daily interactions. This direct message can effectively "sink in" for the children. Sometimes, facing negative criticism, children will naturally feel unhappy, but it helps them understand the boundaries. Therefore, parents should appreciate the strict guidance of teachers and avoid casually complaining about their efforts.




  1. Elders

Many elders may be very strict with their own children but tend to be much more lenient with their grandchildren, sometimes even more so than the children's parents. However, the status and life experience of elders are actually superior to anyone else's. Therefore, their "one word of praise" can be more effective than others' advice. The question is whether they are willing to play the role of the bad guy. If they are, parents should be grateful for their assistance.



  1. Medical Personnel

Medical personnel have always been relatively respected. However, children often have an aversion to medical procedures. Therefore, during consultations and treatments, children's reactions often present a good teaching opportunity. If medical personnel (including doctors and nurses) are willing to provide guidance when children exhibit uncooperative behavior, the children will likely understand better. Although they may not correct their behavior immediately, it will certainly help in their life learning process.


  1. Passersby

Sometimes, unrelated bystanders can immediately point out inappropriate behavior in children, which can have a startlingly effective impact. For the parents present, this might be a bit embarrassing, but thinking it through, it is beneficial for the child's behavior.


Children in their growth and learning phase need proper guidance, especially when their behavior deviates. Therefore, if parents are unwilling to play the "bad guy," we should be grateful and appreciative if others are willing to speak up and correct the child.
Categories
School Articles

Whose trash is it? The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation to be successful

Whose trash is it? The cultivation of children's character must be achieved through home-school cooperation to be successful


Written by: Mr. Cheung Wai Ching, Principal


There are two scenes in front of us:


Scene One:

On a bustling street, a little boy walking with his parents notices a discarded soda can at his feet. He picks up the can, intending to throw it into a nearby trash bin. However, his mother sees this and demands that he throw the can away, but the boy refuses. Then, his father comes over and scolds him, "Idiot, how can you pick up such dirty things? You're not a street cleaner!" The little boy responds, "The teacher said we should protect the environment and not litter!" The mother says, "You didn't throw it, so why bother?" The little boy looks confused but has no choice but to throw the trash back on the ground.


Scene Two:

On a crowded train station platform, a young mother is with a boy about 5 or 6 years old. After finishing his juice, the boy casually throws the empty box under the seat. The mother quickly picks up the empty box, hands it to her son, and says, "Good boy, throw the empty box into the trash bin in front." A moment later, the mother and son hug each other affectionately, and the mother softly says to her son, "We must protect the environment and not litter!"


Isn't the boy in Scene One quite pitiful? He must be confused by the different educational methods of his parents and teacher.


School education, besides teaching children textbook knowledge, also emphasizes moral education. Protecting the environment is a well-known principle. When schools and teachers are fully cultivating this sense of public morality in children, if parents can cooperate with the school, encourage children to follow the teacher's guidance, and set an example themselves, children can receive positive education, rather than learning one set of standards at school and facing another in real life.


Home-School Cooperation in Cultivating Children's Character

Schools have many requirements for students, such as punctuality, discipline, orderliness, service, and cleanliness, all of which are part of moral education. The aim is for children to realize from a young age that they are part of society and have responsibilities and obligations, not just to gain benefits. Imagine, if the boy in Scene One, after hearing his parents' reasoning, adopts the mindset of "since I didn't throw it, I don't need to pick it up" even at home, what would the parents think? Every parent hopes their child will consciously care for the cleanliness of their home environment and appreciate their parents' hard work. But have you ever thought: if you never teach your child to respect the labor of cleaners, and never personally demonstrate care for the larger social environment in front of your child, how will the child learn to care for the small environment at home?



A survey found that nearly 80% of schoolchildren rarely say "thank you" when helped by elders or domestic helpers. Some children even believe that it is the domestic helper's job to take care of them, so there is no need to be particularly polite to them. Additionally, few schoolchildren say "good morning," "good night," or "let's eat" to their parents.


Why do children lack manners? It is because parents themselves do not say "thank you" to others or to domestic helpers. Some parents frequently or occasionally rebuke and scold elders or interrupt others while they are speaking. Besides occupying seats on public transportation, some parents also cut in line or do not queue in public places. Parents and teachers are role models for children, and our every word and action constantly influence their values. Parents must always be vigilant about their behavior and should try to correct their children's impolite attitudes immediately, but remember to use appropriate tone and language. Parents should also take time each day to guide their children to reflect on their mistakes, making the lessons more impactful. The cultivation of children's character must be achieved through home-school cooperation, with parents playing an even more crucial role than teachers.
Categories
School Articles

The most important thing in teaching children is values



The most important thing in teaching children is values

Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan


In recent years, news of parent-child tragedies has become increasingly common. The root cause lies in severe deviations in parent-child relationships, familial bonds, and individual roles in family responsibilities. This results in resentment, blame-shifting, and an inability to combat negative thoughts, sometimes leading to the desire to harm others as a form of self-relief.


Guiding Children on the Right Path Through Parental Values

Although parents may feel heartbroken, they cannot turn back time to rebuild affectionate relationships with their children or restore the value of familial bonds. People do not have the choice to select their parents, so they must cherish the relationships they have. However, parents can seize the present moment to let their children know that they are the most selfless people in the world, allowing them to feel the warmth and tenderness of their parents. Since we never know when we might no longer be by our children's side, the only things that can help them make judgments, prevent them from going astray, and resist negative temptations are the values and parent-child relationships taught by their parents. Children must understand that regardless of whether family life is smooth or challenging, it is a gift and a form of training. Through this training, people become stronger, making it an invaluable element of growth.


When we witness the tragedies of other families and individuals, it serves as a warning to resolutely avoid following the same path. At the same time, parents should realize that when they pass away, the only things they leave behind for their descendants are a lifetime of wisdom, culture, and the character they have instilled in their children. At this moment, what do parents expect from their children? I hope: "Just be a good person." Storytelling education is a way to impart important values to children, facilitate communication, and build parent-child relationships.

The value of familial affection lies in accumulating intimacy from a young age. 

Parents must strive to build intimacy with their children from an early age. The following example demonstrates how a mother can meet her child's need for security, highlighting the importance of building intimacy and empathy:


One day, a 2-year-old baby suddenly raised their hands and stood on tiptoe, seemingly craving adult affection. We often refer to this behavior as "acting spoiled." However, the father said, "Hold the baby? Okay, stand properly for Daddy to see first." At this moment, the baby turned to the mother, raised their hands again, and stood on tiptoe, showing a strong desire for care. The mother immediately embraced the baby and said touching and selfless words to the father: "Ah, the love of Mommy and Daddy is not something the baby needs to beg for; love is always there, and we don't have many days to be this close. Let the baby feel our love." This story allows everyone to savor the value, role, and response of being a parent.

Additionally, I have several tips for promoting parent-child relationships and story education to share:


  1. Let your children understand your values, viewpoints, and response methods through your actions.

  2. Do not make your children fear your calls or feel annoyed, including only testing or completing tasks you assign.

  3. Parental instruction methods should only be used in situations that endanger health or life; otherwise, just warn of the consequences and respond calmly to the child's anger and pain after they face the consequences.

  4. When children proactively share things, encourage them to express their viewpoints, hypothesize by taking on another role, and analyze emotions and thoughts to increase empathy.

  5. Create more opportunities for shared learning and topics, allowing you and your children to have similar feelings and experiences.

  6. If a child's response in a story shows a deviation in values, such as tendencies toward violence or revenge, express that this makes you sad and guide the child to think of reasonable solutions or the benefits of letting go of the issue.


In summary, everyone has emotional and psychological needs for satisfaction. To help children grow in a balanced way emotionally and cognitively, parents must cultivate themselves to manage their families. Parents need to have the ability to judge and understand the entire value of their child's life: happiness and contribution. Only then can children inherit and spread the mission of love through your example and teachings.
Categories
School Articles

Chronic cough? Bronchitis? Or Asthma?

Chronic cough? Bronchitis? Or Asthma?


Written by：Cheng Sui Man


The children can't stop coughing, often continuing for an entire month, especially severe in the middle of the night, waking up from coughing, leading to insomnia, and then falling asleep from extreme fatigue. This is torturous for both children and adults! What exactly causes this persistent coughing? Is it sensitivity or inflammation of the trachea? Upon consulting a doctor, it turns out this is also a form of asthma!


Children are naturally more prone to having narrower airways due to their young age, making them more susceptible to nasal congestion, snoring, and even shortness of breath even with just a common cold. However, unlike bronchitis, a common cold usually recovers within a week, but the cough from bronchitis can last over twenty days, so it's not surprising that the coughing continues for a month from the onset of the illness.


This leads to another question: Why does bronchitis occur? According to doctors, one common cause is the child contracting the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). This is a very common virus that spreads through droplets and air. It causes the airways to constrict and become inflamed, producing mucus that accumulates and further narrows the airways, stimulating the patient to cough and creating a vicious cycle. Doctors indicate that in these cases, bronchodilator medication may be prescribed to reduce symptoms and allow the child's immune system to fight off the virus. However, once a child has been infected with RSV, the airways are somewhat damaged, increasing the likelihood of developing asthma in the future. As the doctor explained, my eldest son had indeed been hospitalized due to RSV infection in the past, and since then, every time he catches a cold and coughs, his recovery time is longer than that of my younger son!



"So it seems your eldest son might indeed have asthma," the doctor's conclusion was definitely the last thing I wanted to hear. Asthma, in its worst case, can be fatal! Wait, that's the worst-case scenario. The doctor added that asthma is actually classified into four stages.


Stage 1: Intermittent Asthma

Usually caused by respiratory viruses such as RSV or filtrable viruses, occurring sporadically a few times a year, with normal conditions the rest of the time. Therefore, it is only necessary to use a bronchodilator during episodes of airway constriction and shortness of breath to relieve discomfort without significant side effects, and there is no need for long-term medication.


However, if the airway constriction is not properly relieved, the airways can become increasingly prone to narrowing, and the asthma could progress.


Stage 2: Mild Persistent Asthma

Patients have episodes about once or twice a month, and bronchodilators are insufficient to manage the condition. Inhaled steroids are needed to "treat the root cause" and control inflammation. Inhaled steroids come in different strengths, and the doctor will prescribe the appropriate dosage as needed.


Stage 3: Moderate Persistent Asthma

Patients have asthma attacks on average once a week and need to use a bronchodilator daily.



Stage 4: Severe Persistent Asthma

Patients need to use a bronchodilator daily, three to four times a day, while also using inhaled steroids to control the condition.


Following the doctor's advice, I should no longer be afraid to let my child use inhaled bronchodilators! Relieving the child's coughing and asthma symptoms early on can also hopefully prevent the worsening of asthma conditions in the long run.
Categories
School Articles

Why are children always distracted while eating?

Why are children always distracted while eating?

 

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team

 

Many children aged 4 to 5 tend to look around and fidget during meals because they are not yet adept at using utensils. Additionally, their short attention spans, still-developing sense of time, curiosity about their surroundings, or even a desire to avoid eating may contribute to their lack of focus.

 

Short Attention Spans

Children aged 4 to 5 generally need longer meal times than adults. This is partly because they are not yet familiar with using utensils, which can lead to clumsiness, and partly because their chewing and digestive abilities are still developing, necessitating longer meal times. Furthermore, due to their short attention spans, low self-control, and lack of time awareness, they are easily distracted by their environment. When they become engrossed in something interesting, they may even forget about their meal in front of them, often requiring repeated reminders from parents to continue eating, which prolongs mealtime.



Parents dealing with children who have short attention spans can try to create a consistent, quiet, familiar, and simply arranged dining environment. They can set a reasonable time limit for meals and remind the children periodically of the time limit to ensure they finish their meals within that timeframe.

 

 

Curiosity About the Surroundings

Additionally, some children are naturally “observational” learners with strong curiosity, often learning new things by observing through their eyes. Even during meals, they might look around, continuing to learn. Although this behavior might seem like they are not concentrating, they rarely “forget” to eat; they simply continue eating while indulging in their observations. For such observational learners, instead of letting them look around, parents might consider engaging them with books during meals to foster a reading interest.

 

Of course, there are also “mixed-type” children and those who look around to avoid eating foods they dislike, deliberately delaying or performing small actions to draw attention. Therefore, to address the issue of children looking around during meals, parents need to carefully observe and understand the underlying problems.

 

No Need to Rush Meals

 

The pace of life in Hong Kong is fast, and meal times are becoming increasingly shorter. Sometimes, seeing children eat slowly can make parents anxious. Ultimately, if time permits, children should be given ample time to chew slowly and savor the taste of their food. Lastly, parents might consider reducing the portion sizes for their children, making it easier for them to finish their meals at the table. This approach can reduce potential conflicts at the dining table and increase the children’s motivation to eat more when they feel hungry.

 
Categories
School Articles

How to deal with a bad temper?

How to deal with a bad temper?


Firstly, we must understand that it is extremely important for children to be able to express the emotion of anger for their development of autonomy. During early childhood (around two to three years old), the developmental crisis is precisely 'development of autonomy' versus 'shame and doubt' (Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt). What we should address is the behavior resulting from the child's emotions, not to prohibit or even negate the child's emotions.


Additionally, anger is a common emotion, experienced by both children and parents. When children attempt to express their anger, they often model their parents' behavior. If parents display anger towards their children, or if there is arguing between parents, children will use these behaviors as important references for developing and controlling their emotions (Bandura, 1977). Arguments between parents, malicious teasing, or even violence can heighten children's sensitivity to anger and disrupt their normal development (Cummings, Pellegrini, Notarius, & Cummings, 1989). Therefore, for children to have a good temperament, parents must first pay attention to their own ways of interacting."



What methods can help young children better control and reduce the intensity of their anger? Berkowitz and Thompson offer the following suggestions (Berkowitz, 1973; Thompson, 1990):


  1. Ignoring offensive behaviors: If the behavior is aimed at obtaining a specific object (such as a toy), parents should not satisfy the child due to their behavior, nor should they punish them for it; simply not responding may suffice.

  2. Use of a 'calm down corner': Set up a quiet area in the home, free from any stimuli or attractions, as a space for children to calm down. When a child has an emotional outburst or behaves inappropriately, they can be sent to this calm down corner. This isn't necessarily a form of reprimand but a way to allow the child's emotions to settle, similar to the need to use the restroom; it's a normal requirement. If used appropriately, when children feel emotional in the future, they might naturally go to the calm down corner to soothe themselves.

  3. Evoking emotions incompatible with anger, especially empathy for the victim.

  4. Reducing exposure to situations or objects that may trigger the child's anger: Before children have fully developed self-control, reducing opportunities for anger also means reducing conflicts between parents and children.

  5. Explaining the consequences of their behavior.

  6. Examining the causes of the angry emotions.

(Development Through Life, Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. Newman, Wadsworth, 2003, pp. 197)


The above strategies can be tailored to different situations. For instance, if a child acts violently out of anger, parents can focus on explaining the consequences and evoking empathy for the victim. If a child is throwing a tantrum to obtain an object, parents can ignore their negative behavior. Additionally, these strategies can be combined; for example, after a child has calmed down in the calm down corner, parents can explain the consequences of their actions. Ultimately, the choice of strategy should depend on the child's capabilities; for example, explaining the consequences in detail to a child who cannot yet speak might only increase conflict.


Once parents have decided on a strategy for each situation, the most important aspect is consistency. Simply put, consistency can be divided into two aspects: firstly, the same behavior should always result in the same outcome, avoiding a situation where ignoring is used one time and scolding another, which can confuse the child. Secondly, every caregiver should use the same approach to reinforce the message that "this behavior is inappropriate."
Categories
School Articles

What should I do if a child is overly attached to objects?

Whats should I do if a child is overly attached to objects?


Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team


A friend's five-year-old daughter has been exhibiting "object attachment" since she was two years old. No matter what she does, she must hold her old, worn-out teddy bear, almost never letting it out of her hands. The old teddy bear is her most important possession, and she must hold it tightly wherever she goes. If she finds it missing, she becomes irritable and cries incessantly. Recently, her mother threw away the teddy bear for hygiene reasons, and the girl cried all day long.


From a psychological perspective, a child's attachment to an object is a stage in their psychological development, most commonly occurring from six months to three years old, and peaking around two years old. According to child psychology, these old objects and toys are a source of psychological security for young children. The duration of a child's attachment to objects varies; some children's attachments are short-lived, while others may continue until they start elementary school. Children may become particularly attached to familiar objects during sudden events or changes in their environment, such as a sudden change in living conditions, exposure to violence, or separation from loved ones, as these objects provide a source of comfort and stability.


 

Conduct a "Farewell to Attachment Objects" Ceremony

Educational psychologists believe that since a child's excessive attachment to objects is caused by a lack of security, to solve this problem, one should start by increasing the child's sense of security.


Generally, guiding children to give up their attachment to objects from the age of three is the best time, as the child already has sufficient independent ability. Parents and kindergarten teachers expressing care through language and timely hugs can also help alleviate the child's feelings of insecurity.


On the other hand, parents can hold a "farewell" ceremony for the object of the child's attachment, such as a "handkerchief farewell ceremony," which involves asking the child to say goodbye to the handkerchief through verbal description or drawing. Together, they put away or bury the handkerchief, "cutting off" all possibilities that might make the child miss it, but at the same time letting the child know that the parents will keep the object safe for them to retrieve for reminiscing when they grow up.


In addition, many children become "addicted" to items like small blankets, little pillows, teddy bears, or their usual bath towels. When purchasing these items for young children, parents should consciously prepare other objects for substitution, so that the child cannot become overly attached to any particular item. If from the start there are two or three small blankets prepared, or a teddy bear family including grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, little teddy bear, and its cousins, allowing the child to alternate choices, they will not easily invest too much emotion in any one thing.


Give "Unconditional Hugs" Often

Parents should hug their children often, and pat their backs and heads. This kind of unconditional hug can suggest to the child "I am by your side, I love you, don't be afraid, I am here! It's okay to fail, you are safe!" and so on. Children who often hug with their parents will never treat a small blanket or teddy bear as their "spiritual guardian."
Categories
School Articles

Hot-tempered parents

Hot-tempered parents

Written by : Marriage and Family Therapist Rachel Ng

Children easily become timid, reticent, and lack confidence when dealing with hot-tempered parents. However, some children may learn to solve problems in an aggressive manner, mimicking their parents. Obviously, both patterns are detrimental to a child's personality development! Can parents improve their hot-tempered nature?

Personality tendencies and life stress

It's undeniable that a part of one's temperament is innate, which we cannot overlook. Just like children have different traits, some parents are naturally more sensitive, react quickly, and have lower adaptability. These types of parents, when entering the stage of raising children, often coincide with a critical period in their career development. Due to their low adaptability, they easily become anxious due to changes in the environment, work demands, and their own career advancement, requiring a lot of time and energy to cope. At home, the various temperaments of children and their growing needs already pose many challenges to parents. Therefore, parents who are impatient and have low adaptability can easily lose their temper, using it as a way to vent their unease and attempt to control the situation, hoping to restore order and reduce their own anxiety.


Trauma from the Family of Origin

Some parents are not inherently impatient, but if they experienced neglect, abuse, and damage to their self-esteem and personality during their upbringing, these parents are likely to perceive their child's disobedience, tantrums, and other challenging behaviors as personal rejections, triggering their own childhood traumas and leading to emotional instability and frequent outbursts of anger. Parents often fail to recognize that their anger at the moment is largely a hypersensitive reaction stemming from past hurts, attributing the cause of their anger solely to the child's behavior, resulting in disproportionate emotional responses and excessive punishment of the child.

Conflict with Spouse

Parents who are quick-tempered find it difficult to remain calm during conflicts with their spouse, leading to strained marital relationships and a discordant family atmosphere. Sometimes, they resort to quick but superficial solutions to ease conflicts, leaving the underlying issues unresolved. As resentment between spouses builds up over time and remains unaddressed, parents may vent their accumulated negative emotions on their children when they misbehave, leading to hurtful remarks and creating more complex family issues.


Parents Need to Self-Observe

If parents acknowledge that their hot temper is destroying family harmony and hindering their child's personality development, then what they need to do is not look elsewhere but to focus their attention on themselves. They should carefully observe their own emotional, cognitive, and behavioral processes and changes, as if they were taking their own eyes out to watch themselves. They need to ask themselves these questions: "What exactly am I thinking?" "Why do I speak and react this way?" "What nerve has this situation touched in me?" "Am I angry because of what's happening now, or is there another reason?" "Am I using this as an excuse to vent my emotions?"

For anyone, home is a relatively safe place to express emotions. However, parents with excessively hot tempers really need to learn to control their emotions. If they can self-reflect and carefully examine themselves, it won't be difficult to realize that their reactions are too quick, their words too harsh, and they cannot distinguish between past and present feelings, or whether their anger is directed at their children or someone else. Being able to differentiate these at the moment is the beginning of change!

Categories
School Articles

Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do

Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do


Written by: Dr. Chi-Yuen TIK, Chief Executive, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education


In the journey of parental education, I love to listen to parents share their experiences and reflections on disciplining their children. Exchanging and encouraging each other is the most comprehensive content of parenting education. There is no place in the world that requires parents to pass an exam before they can have children. Everyone is learning as they go, realizing things later on, and gradually becoming "experienced" parents. Children have expectations of you, society has demands on you, and parents themselves cannot afford to be lazy, so they actively learn theories and techniques for disciplining their children.


I remember a father sharing how he dealt with his son's request to buy sneakers when the son was in the eighth grade. He told his son he would give him four hundred dollars. Naturally, the son felt it was not enough, but the father told him that four hundred dollars could buy a pair of sneakers, and if it wasn't enough, the son would have to figure it out himself. In the end, the son bought the sneakers he wanted, but the price was saving his breakfast and lunch money to make the purchase. He said although his son was happy with the new sneakers, he also experienced days of hunger, and in the future, he would think carefully before making a purchase. The father expressed that it was tough for him to see his son go through this, but he thought it was important for his son to understand the principle of living within one's means, even if it meant letting his son experience it firsthand.



During a lecture on how to cultivate self-care abilities in young children, a mother of a K3 student shared that her son always relied on her to pack up his homework. Over time, her son's dependence on her increased. After much reflection, the mother decided to apply what she had learned from parenting seminars. She told her son that he needed to take care of his own things and that she would no longer pack his school bag for him. She was also mentally prepared for her son to be reprimanded by the teacher for not handing in his homework. As expected, to avoid further scolding from the teacher, the son started to pack his school bag by himself every day. Although he may not yet fully understand the importance of taking responsibility for his own affairs, he has begun to take his own matters seriously and no longer relies on his mother's "help." The mother also stopped providing unconstructive help and care for her son.


After all, classroom learning is enjoyable, but practical application can be painfully insightful, with a mix of joys and challenges. While applying parenting techniques, it is also a challenge to the parents' personal values and life experiences. Parents also need to have a balanced mindset and self-awareness. This is precisely the purpose of parenting education.