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Instead of Overprotecting, It’s Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs.

Instead of Overprotecting, It's Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs.

Written by: Child Play Therapist, Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi



Recently, I saw a friend share a short video on Facebook, featuring her 5-year-old son demonstrating how to cut broccoli with a serrated knife. The edited video lasted about three and a half minutes and was filmed entirely by the mother. In the video, the boy's cutting skills were not exactly proficient, but he wore a calm expression and explained his actions confidently.


As a therapist, I completely agree with the mother's approach of allowing her child to learn and gain experience from life. After all, the harm from a serrated knife is limited; even if he does cut himself, it would likely only result in a minor injury, and children tend to recover quickly. However, as a mother myself, I couldn’t help but feel worried while watching the entire process.



When the boy successfully cut through the broccoli, I let out a sigh of relief. I greatly admired his patience and effort, but I was even more impressed by the mother's courage.


Many parents often struggle between allowing their children to try new things and worrying about them facing setbacks. While many parents rationally understand that children need some autonomy to develop a sense of responsibility and confidence, the instinct to protect their children from failure or pain is powerful. These worries and anxieties lead parents to protect their children from making mistakes in various ways, such as making decisions for them, completing responsibilities they should handle themselves, or persuading them to solve problems in the parents' way.


Parents' concerns about their children's potential failures come from a place of love, which is natural. However, the greatest gift parents can give their children is not to protect them from making mistakes or getting hurt, but to accompany them through the highs and lows, as well as the successes and failures. This kind of companionship includes respect, trust, and support for the child—respecting their right to make their own choices, trusting that they can handle the consequences of those choices, and providing unwavering support when they face difficulties and setbacks.



No one can guarantee that a child's life will be smooth sailing, but a parent's presence can assure their child that they are never alone. Only then can children confidently explore, learn, and develop their strengths.

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Primary School Application. How do parents choose schools for their children? 

Primary School Application. How do parents choose schools for their children?

Written by: Gigamind English Primary School, Principal Kenneth Law



The Primary 1 application process has begun. How can parents choose the right school for their children? How to determine if a school is the right one? While a child's individual traits are certainly important, young children are highly adaptable. Therefore, the parents' expectations for education and whether the school can meet those expectations become more crucial. Parents can learn about a school through the following methods:


  1. School websites


Many parents would use the school website to understand the school, but the design direction of different school websites varies, making it difficult to compare them. However, websites generally provide some basic information, which can be considered a convenient way to learn about the school.


  1. Primary School Profile


"Primary School Overview" is also a means to obtain basic information about schools. Unlike websites, the layout of "Primary School Overview" has limitations on titles and word count, making it appear easier to compare. However, it is difficult to see the school's features, so "Primary School Overview" can only be considered as an additional convenient approach for parents to get to know the school.


3. Understanding through "Word of Mouth" 


Collecting opinions of different people about the school, commonly known as "word of mouth," can be an important way to understand the school. In fact, it is also a significant factor considered by most parents. However, there are two points that parents need to pay attention to when understanding the school through word of mouth. Firstly, everyone's observations may be incomplete, and schools can change, so parents should listen to different opinions. Secondly, everyone has different expectations for education. What others consider important advantages may not be important to you, and you may even consider them as disadvantages.


  1. Visiting the School 


What about visiting the school? Some people doubt whether visiting the school can reveal its true nature, but I believe that personal contact is still important. Every school has information they want the public to know, which represents the elements the school values. This information can be obtained during a visit. Does this school want everyone to know that its students have good discipline or are lively and confident? Does it emphasize high academic standards or a diverse range of activities? Parents can make comparisons based on these aspects.


By having a clear understanding of their own expectations for education and evaluating in their own direction, it is less likely to be influenced by superficial factors. Choosing a school for one's children is not easy, but if parents can be clear about what they want and use various approaches to gather information, they will believe that everything will fall into place.

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Open-ended questions help enhance children’s associative skills

Open-ended questions help enhance children's associative skills

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist



Many parents hope to enhance their children's thinking skills. In fact, as long as parents properly guide their children to connect some small things in life and then ask leading questions, they can consciously think about the things they see and related knowledge. For example, when children see an apple, let them think about what kind of object is also round or red; when they hear the sound of birds, they will think about what kind of animal can fly.


Ask your child more questions that are not restrictive


When parents ask children questions, do not force them to answer or ask for a definite answer, or even ask them to answer the question right away because they may still be thinking about it. Parents do not need to ask any restrictive questions and can ask whatever comes to mind, such as what kind of objects chopsticks are like and what kind of people wear uniforms like students. In addition to making them think more, parents can also think and discuss with their children as a parent-child activity, which helps to enhance their relationship.


In addition to asking individual questions, parents can also allow children to answer questions with their siblings or friends. For children with higher ability, parents can let them answer more different answers; for children with average ability, they can answer fewer answers; for those with weaker ability, parents can guide them to answer through appropriate prompting and demonstration.



Parents can look for questions in their lives


Parents can look for questions in their lives that they can ask. They can even try to ask questions that are imaginative and open to discussion, so that their children can use their imagination and associative power. For example, parents can ask their children what things are round outdoors, what things in the house are made of iron, what foods are red, and so on. On the other hand, questions with definite and positive answers, such as math questions (1 plus 1 equals how many), are generally called "closed-ended questions" and are not very helpful in improving children's associative skills because they only have specific answers.



In fact, creation and association should start from the smallest things, which is a good way to train children's associative and thinking skills. Therefore, parents should start from today to enhance your child's associative skills!

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Understanding Common Infectious Diseases in Schoolchildren

Understanding Common Infectious Diseases in Schoolchildren



Written by : Dr. Chiu Cheung Shing


The weather in Hong Kong can be unpredictable, and combined with children's weaker immune systems, they are prone to various illnesses. Moreover, children learn and play together at school, making it easy for infectious diseases to spread. Therefore, parents must have a certain understanding of common infectious diseases among schoolchildren to take necessary preventive measures and avoid infections.


In Hong Kong, schoolchildren's infectious diseases can be categorized based on their mode of transmission:


1. Droplet Transmission

Children can inhale droplets expelled by an infected person when they sneeze, cough, spit, or talk. They may also touch surfaces contaminated with pathogens and then touch their eyes, nose, or mouth, allowing the virus to enter their bodies and cause infection. Common illnesses include upper respiratory infections (commonly referred to as colds), influenza, and hand, foot, and mouth disease.


2. Contact Transmission

This occurs when viruses are transmitted through direct contact with an infected person's body, such as skin-to-skin contact. The most common example is hand, foot, and mouth disease.


3. Airborne Transmission

Pathogens can remain suspended in the air for a period, entering the human body through the respiratory system without direct contact. Common diseases transmitted this way include chickenpox and measles.



4. Hygiene-Related Infections

Some infectious diseases arise from improper personal hygiene, such as urinary tract infections or gastroenteritis (commonly referred to as stomach flu).

 

Handling Infectious Diseases


When a child contracts any infectious disease, they should not attend school. Firstly, the child may encounter more viruses at school or further weaken their immune system. Secondly, for public health considerations, it is essential to prevent the spread of the virus. Parents should allow their children to rest at home and return to school only after recovery. Additionally, parents can take preventive actions early, such as ensuring their children receive vaccinations against diseases like influenza or chickenpox, which can effectively prevent infections.


Parents should teach their children to avoid contact with classmates who have colds and to wash their hands frequently, using hand sanitizers appropriately to maintain personal hygiene. They should also instruct their children not to share cups or utensils to prevent cross-infection.


If a school suspects that a student has an infectious disease, teachers should remind the affected student to wear a mask, cover their mouth with a tissue when sneezing or coughing, and should try to isolate the student while properly handling any bodily fluids. Parents should be informed to take the child to see a doctor.

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Five Golden Rules of Parenting

５Golden Rules of Parenting



As parents, we all want our children to excel. Parents bear a tremendous responsibility to raise children in the best possible way. But what constitutes good parenting? Good parenting emerges when parents provide a stable, nurturing home environment, serve as positive role models, and actively engage in their children's lives. Good parenting is about fostering a child's holistic development, imparting moral education, and guiding children through open communication and mutual respect. Responsible parents tailor their approach, instill good values, use rewards and punishments judiciously, and positively influence their children's behavior.


  1. Spend Quality Parent-Child Time Together

The best gift you can give your child is your time! Be present for them! No matter how busy you and your child are, make time to "connect" together. Understanding your child more leads to family unity. Play games happily together, plan and do things together. Ensure that good habits and positive attitudes are cultivated during this time spent together.


  1. Provide Unconditional Love

Parental love and warmth are fundamental ingredients for a child's happiness. The more children feel their parents' love, the more willing they are to listen and learn. Before lecturing your child, provide them with unconditional love through hugs, kisses, and words. Research shows that a child needs 12 hugs a day.



  1. Avoid Corporal Punishment and High-Pressure Education

While the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" holds some truth, excess severity can backfire. It's essential to avoid corporal punishment. Times have changed, and studies indicate that physical discipline can have negative effects on a child's development and self-esteem, leading to resentment and rebellious behavior. While it's understandable that parents may lose their temper and resort to physical discipline when children misbehave, it's crucial to refrain from violence. Corporal punishment is never a good parenting method.


  1. Keep Promises

Keep promises made to your child. By doing so, parents teach children the importance of being responsible. Never promise something you can't deliver to your child. If you make a mistake, apologize sincerely and promise to do better next time. Why should parents promise things they can't do for their children?


  1. Be a Good Example

Be a good role model and provide positive influence to discipline your child. If parents want their children to exhibit good behavior, such as valuing time and money, being polite, responsible, sincere, calm, rule-abiding, and logical, they should never disappoint their children; lead by example. Children mirror their parents. If we want to change our children, we must reflect on ourselves and make changes. Therefore, when children look up to parents as role models in more than one way, strive to be the best version of yourself. Start today!

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School Articles

Writing Skills Mini Training

Writing Skills Mini Training



Article by Mr. Cheng Wai-keung, Psychological Counselor at the Infant and Toddler Psychological Development Association.


During the writing training session, Mr. Cheng Wai-keung, a psychological counselor from the Infant and Toddler Psychological Development Association, mentioned the common struggles children face when learning to write in K2.


"He can never write within the lines, everything ends up 'flying'!"

"His letters always go beyond the boxes; usually, one letter 'bullies' two boxes!"

"He often skips lines or boxes while writing."

"It seems like he lacks strength when writing, the writing is so light that it's almost invisible!"


These are typical scenarios many children encounter when learning to write in K2. Writing requires a combination of various skills, with the most basic being the strength and flexibility of the small finger muscles (fine motor skills). Insufficient training in fine motor skills can lead to issues like weak or shaky handwriting. So, how can parents handle and train their children in this aspect? It's simple—start by letting them play with clay, playdough, flour, and other similar materials from a young age.



Furthermore, visual spatial awareness and eye control are also crucial for handwriting. Engaging in general ball activities is excellent for training these skills. Tracking the ball visually and making contact (or kicking) the ball is a natural and fun way to practice. Additionally, activities like spot the difference games (finding variances in two pictures) and maze games (first visually finding the way out, then connecting the lines with a pen) can also enhance eye control abilities.


Hand-eye coordination is vital during handwriting practice and should not be overlooked! Activities like bean bag tossing, fishing games, pouring water exercises, and paper cutting can greatly improve hand-eye coordination.


When should these games be introduced, and how long should they be practiced daily? Ideally, parents can start playing these games with their children when they understand and are capable of playing. It's crucial to base the duration of play on the child's willingness. If a child loses interest, parents should switch activities rather than enforcing a specific time frame. The author believes that through daily play, children can naturally acquire skills, preventing issues from arising, rather than resorting to remedial exercises. Otherwise, even the most enjoyable games can become tedious and burdensome, leading to more suffering than enjoyment.

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Essay on Values Education (Empathy)

Essay on values Education (Empathy)

by Dr. Cheuk Wong Wing Sze

 

Recently, with the unstable weather and frequent rain, I encountered a group of high school students waiting in line for the bus. To my surprise, one female student was without an umbrella, looking very disheveled. Quickly, I shared my umbrella with her. They were all in the same school uniform, possibly not well-acquainted with each other, yet seeing a fellow student in such a state, I wondered why no one else was willing to share their umbrella with her. This incident reminded me of the importance of fostering empathy from a young age.

 

  1. Empathy as the Foundation

American psychologist Daniel Goleman, in his book “Working with Emotional Intelligence,” points out that the ability to handle interpersonal relationships is based on empathy. By trying to perceive the needs of others and caring about their perspectives, one can understand their viewpoints, recognize their emotions, respond to their feelings, and enhance their own empathy. In essence, stronger empathy leads to better interpersonal relationships, and vice versa.

 

  1. Recognizing Others’ Emotions

Through perspective-taking, understanding others’ emotions and thoughts is essential for empathizing and problem-solving from their standpoint. It is crucial to educate children from a young age to first recognize their own emotions. In Asian communities, emotions are often more reserved, with a wide range beyond just happy or sad. Teaching children that emotions are neither good nor bad but have appropriate and inappropriate ways of handling them is vital. For instance, it’s okay to feel angry, and when angry, expressing it to someone is acceptable, but resorting to violence is not. Understanding one’s emotions from a young age facilitates empathy towards others and gradually nurtures empathy.

 

 

  1. Perceiving Others’ Needs

In the bustling city of Hong Kong, where everyone is occupied, people often have their heads down engrossed in their phones, paying less attention to those around them. Teaching children to recognize their emotions and those of others from a young age helps them become more sensitive to the needs of others as they grow up.

 

I firmly believe that cultivating empathy in children from a young age is crucial. Recently, the Education Bureau has been advocating values education, which includes empathy. By fostering understanding of others’ feelings and needs from a young age, empathizing with others and putting oneself in their shoes, the world can become a better place.

 

Reference:

 

Daniel Goleman (1998). “Working with Emotional Intelligence.” Times Publishing Limited.

 
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School Articles

How to enhance the confidence of shy children?

How to enhance the confidence of shy children?

Source: Family Marriage Therapist/Art Therapist, Ko Wing Oi

 

In reality, many parents feel that their children are shy and want to enhance their self-confidence so that they can have more confidence in talking to others. This actually depends on the child’s personality because sometimes children may be slower to warm up or feel more fearful about speaking to strangers. A child’s shyness may be related to their upbringing and experiences during their growth process.

 

In today’s busy world, many parents have limited opportunities to take their children out to play and interact with other children due to work commitments. This can gradually result in children only feeling comfortable communicating with older family members or siblings. When they encounter peers of the same age, they may not know how to play together. Additionally, many parents tend to speak on behalf of their children, especially when they are unable to express themselves. Sometimes parents may feel impatient and quickly guess what the child wants, saying things like, “Do you want this? Do you want that?” This often makes the child hesitant to express their true thoughts and feelings.

 

 

Parents unintentionally prevent their children from learning how to express themselves or become dependent on their parents to speak for them. However, there are various ways to help children communicate with other children or adults in different environments. For example, through interactive activities or games at home, parents can ask the child questions like, “If we meet other children to play at the playground, what can you do to join them?” Role-playing with family members can also be beneficial in helping children gain confidence in social interactions. 

Children primarily learn from their environment, including their parents, siblings, school, friends, and even through sources like online news, television, or cartoons, where they learn behaviors and speech patterns. Therefore, when playing games at home, it’s important to set a good example and show them how to communicate, speak, and express themselves effectively.

 

Sometimes, it’s necessary to give children time to think about how to express themselves instead of rushing to speak for them or completing their sentences. Even if they make a mistake, it’s important not to say, “That’s not how you do it!” as it can scare the child. It’s better to analyze the situation together and discuss how it could have been done correctly. Parents should try to engage in more analysis with the child, asking questions like, “Why is it not okay to say it that way? Because speaking like that might hurt other children. How would you feel if someone spoke to you in that manner?” Teaching them different communication methods can help them interact with strangers and communicate effectively in different environments.

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Storytelling education, what can parents do?

Storytelling education,what can parents do?


Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan


Many parents have asked me about storytelling topics that are challenging to explain to young children, such as stories involving death, like "The Little Match Girl," or stories with violence, like "Little Red Riding Hood." Due to the detailed depiction of events in the storybooks and lifelike illustrations, children may experience significant fear of death after listening to or reading such stories. They might be unable to express their inner discomfort, and some children even burst into tears after hearing these stories. What was originally meant to be an enjoyable parent-child storytelling time ends up having the opposite effect, triggering a heavy psychological burden on the children and leaving parents feeling guilty and unsure of how to handle the aftermath.


Fewer Characters, Positive Plot


I advise parents to start by selecting stories that are deemed suitable for a child's mental and comprehension level from the vast array available in libraries. These stories typically have fewer characters, and a positive plot, and are easy for parents to use during interactive storytelling to help children understand causality and emotions. Stories with fewer characters allow children to focus more on understanding the transformation of the characters' inner selves, behavior, and values within the story context.


Choosing stories with a positive plot helps build qualities such as self-awareness, problem-solving skills, confidence, and analytical ability in children. These positive aspects counterbalance stories with negative themes, bad situations in stories, or the ability to face difficulties in reality. Therefore, unless parents are certain that their children have accumulated a sufficient foundation of resilience from such stories and mental experiences, they should avoid exposing children to stories with terrifying or negative themes until these prerequisites are met.



Inspiring Cognitive Growth and Positive Character Principles


Secondly, starting with the educational significance that stories bring to children, it is crucial to steadfastly adhere to the principles of inspiring children's cognitive growth and fostering positive character development! Regardless of how convincingly the storyteller portrays evil and villains, don't forget the original intention! Storytelling education is a process of interactive learning between the audience and the storyteller, stemming from the direct description of scenes, associated information, and the shared underlying meaning. These observations, descriptions, awareness, and interactive content arise from the mental and emotional states of the audience and storyteller at that moment, as well as their accumulated personal experiences.

The role of the storyteller in education is highly important. In addition to carefully preparing and reading the story content, emphasizing key points and conveying the underlying meaning clearly, the storyteller should also be prepared to trigger children's thinking about people and events at certain points in the story. Providing opportunities for the exchange of values in description and atmosphere creation is essential. Most importantly, observe the audience's reactions while listening to the story and engage in interactive parts that deepen thought and sustain curiosity.


Dramatization and interaction should be humanized


Thirdly, ensure that the dramatization and interaction by the storyteller have the invigorating effect of being humanized and appealing to innate goodness. Whether in stories or the real world, children face different psychological and situational challenges that provide them with important opportunities for development. These experiences make them happier and more resilient than children who grow up in a sheltered environment. As the guiding light for children, we should equip them with the abilities needed for their journeys in life. Therefore, gradually tailor stories to children's life experiences and cognitive levels, providing narratives of different levels, encounters, or aspects of human nature for them to hear.



When the storyteller portrays negative characters or delves into psychological crossroads and choices involving human nature, it is even more crucial to vividly depict the inner dialogue of conscience. The storyteller, assuming a narrative role, should provide children with positive consequences as a reference and analyze the relationships between themselves, characters, and situations. When parents engage in storytelling education with children, any decisions made in response to presented scenarios must be voluntary. Allowing children to experiment, face challenges, or find solace in the virtual world is essential. Moreover, it is important to make children aware of the parents' stance and understand that parents are open to discussion and can be approached for communication! If the interactions spark reflective thoughts on love in children, helping them find their position in these values, the storyteller has successfully illuminated an outstanding life for the child through the story.

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Learning with movement and immobility

Learning with movement and immobility


Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah


In situations where social resources are scarce, children have little that is fun or interesting to engage with; however, when the objects in front of them show no minor changes and there are no detailed verbal or written instructions, children can still observe the differences and similarities between what they see now and what they have seen before, or make associations with other things they have encountered. They even try to describe their observations in their own words. This is active learning, which not only educates the mind but also unconsciously enhances psychological qualities.


With the continuous advancement of modern technology, everyone can travel the world instantly from the comfort of their homes through television or smartphones. But does watching TV or online information require concentration? It turns out that being able to watch video messages does not necessarily mean that children are attentively learning, as this falls under the category of passive learning. It requires colorful messages and continuous verbal narration, and lacking any of these elements might lead to a lack of focus.


Even though students still need to learn in classrooms today, with the help of information technology, it seems possible for them to see distant scenarios without boundaries. Unfortunately, there are still shortcomings; they need to experience these settings firsthand to gain a more comprehensive understanding and learning experience. Modern learning requires the involvement of more sensory channels to stimulate students' motivation to learn. Are there other options available?


Human desires are endless, but resources are finite. Is it possible to endlessly stimulate learning through multiple senses? Should we pause and consider why more and more people are proposing vegetarianism, or having a meat-free day on Mondays? Some suggest returning to a simpler, more primitive way of life. Learning activities and arrangements might need similar actions to help children grasp the essence of learning and experience the authenticity of the learning process.



To achieve this reversal, guidance from parents and teachers is needed to change the trends and habits of this era; there are now some suggested activities for parents and teachers to consider, such as: trying to turn off the volume of the television, letting them experience what it is like to be deaf, only able to see and not hear to absorb information; they can also cover the television screen with cloth, making them feel like they are listening to a radio, only able to imagine the scene from other people's speech, still able to grasp the plot without visual aid, and for example, placing some food in one of three cups, asking them to smell which cup contains the food, which is a lot of kinesthetic learning.


Parents and teachers make some small actions in teaching, which may produce some unclear factors that make them hesitate, but at the same time, it also generates more curiosity, and under guidance, they can have greater motivation to learn, starting from being moved emotionally and intellectually, then leading them to pursue what they want to hear and see, becoming active and enthusiastic learners!